Go ahead and disconnect.

I’m stepping forward to admit it, I have a problem… I’m a gadget junkie.  Not only a gadget junkie, but a communication junkie added to that.  I have an iPhone, a laptop, an iPod, etc…  I have Facebook, Myspace, Living Social, and other networking accounts.  I Email, Instant Message, iChat, Twitter, Blog, etc…  I say I do it to keep in touch with my friends, family, students, etc…  But in all this I have had a deep gnawing within me.  It’s been as if I feel that something is wrong or out of whack, but I’ve never been able to put my finger on it, or maybe I just didn’t want to face it.  In the midst of all this connection and communication, I have lost touch with myself.  I’ve spent so much time keeping in touch, up to date, and informed with the outside world, that I’ve neglected the inside world.  I’ve lost touch with my true self.

Ben Stein recently wrote an article that has been festering in my heart and mind for the past couple months and It speaks to the very heart of this problem I’ve been having.  I highly suggest you check it out here – “Connected, Yes, but Hermetically Sealed”.  It speaks about a culture where we rarely look up from our cell phones to see the world and others right in front of us, about how we are so tethered to work and demands from others that we forget to live OUR lives, about how we have drowned out our ability to dream and imagine.  It’s scary but I’ve found a lot of myself in this article. Silence and solitude are ways that I KNOW that I reconnect with God, and my true self which is made in His image.  So why do I avoid them like the plauge?

I tell myself and others that I do all this to keep in touch with friends, family, those I’ve lost touch with, and my students.  But I’m beginning to think that maybe I do it because I’m afraid to face or deal with me. Maybe I’m afraid of the work that God wants to do in me, so I shut out that voice by being overly connected, by being busy, by masking myself with “stuff”.  Maybe I just need to disconnect for a while, no phone, no computer, T.V., radio, ipod, etc… I lie and tell myself that my work necessitates at least a phone and email right?  What if there’s an emergency?  What if someone REALLY NEEDS me?  Am I really THAT important, or is that just my ego?  I wonder what would really happen If I just put it down for a while?  People could still find me, I’d still be available, but I’d also have more time to reconnect with ME, and with Robin and Caleb.  That sounds so refreshing to me, the question remains, am I brave enough to do it?  Stay tuned…